• gay kid: hey i like your shoes
  • straight boy: haha thanks but im straight

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Just in case you weren’t on the moon last night. This is what earth looked like from the moon’s perspective 

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prettyinporcelain:

living-corpse:

copequinn:

nicotinehearts:

omigawdmatt:

racheyzane:

do you ever look at somebody and wonder how they moan during sex

no but thanks now i have a new habit forced upon me whenever i go out

i think about this post at the most inappropriate times and it has ruined my life

Guys lips are the same color as the tip of their penis have fun with that fact at bad times

eyebrow hair is usually the colour of one’s pubes HAVE FUN

I hate you all so much

(via faggot-about-it)

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unlawfully:

Having a cute waiter like I’ll have the chicken with a side of that dick

(via cadecoole)

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The head of a company survived 9/11 because
His son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.

One’s
Car wouldn’t start.

One couldn’t
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work but before.
He got there, he developed a blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone…
All the little things that annoy me,
I think to myself,

This is exactly where
I’m meant to be
At this very moment

(via etherealveins)

(Source: theoutsiders, via derekwtf)

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yourackdisciprine:

When the acid kicks in.
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